How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden ?Hide the ball, it drives them nuts ... Read more

How does a physicist exercise?By pumping ... Read more

How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?One to change the lightbulb, and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her ... Read more

If you have a referee in football, what do you have in ... Read more

If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls ?Cornflakes ... Read more

It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the ... Read more

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and ... Read more

Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?Captain: Well, it could have been worse.Manager: How?Captain: There could have been more teams in the ... Read more

Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom ?Captain: Well, it could have been worse.Manager: How ?Captain: There could have been more teams in the league ... Read more

Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder playerFan: Why's that?Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy ... Read more