Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is ... Read more

Q: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?A: I don't know son, I'm still paying for ... Read more

Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find ... Read more

Son: What is an autobiography? Father: Er, the story of an ... Read more

Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father, "Pop, what's a millennium?" "Well," he muttered, "I think it's something like a centennial, only it has more ... Read more

Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom. "Mr. Talbot," said the teacher, "I asked James 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!" "Well, teacher," said Talbot, "if my kid ... Read more

Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.'Teddy,' he called, 'how many more times have I got to tell you to come down the stairs quietly? Now, go back up and come down like a civilised human ... Read more

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool."Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool." "Oh really?" said the lifeguard, ... Read more

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. ... Read more

There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to ... Read more