Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said "Hell, I'm no actor, and I've got thirty movies to prove ... Read more

Fred: I'd love to be an actress. Harry: Break a leg then! Amy: Whatever for? Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for ... Read more

Fred: I met a really conceited actor the other day.Harry: Why do you say he's conceited?Fred: Well, every time there was a thunderclap during the storm, he went to the window and took a ... Read more

How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much ... Read more

Neighbour: Haven't I seen you on TV? Actor: Well, I do appear, on and off, you know. How do you like me? Neighbour: ... Read more

One agent stops by another agent's table to tell him the big news: "Elvis just died!" The second agent says nothing, then starts nodding. "Good career ... Read more

Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly?Director: Let's just say she'd look better on radio than on ... Read more

Q: How can you tell the dumbest actress working on a movie?A: She's the one sleeping with the ... Read more

Q: How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Uh...standby, I'll check on ... Read more

Q: How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Why are you asking me that question? Can't you see I'm ... Read more