Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights.And how long have you had this complaint?Who wants to ... Read more

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.Sit there and don't ... Read more

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.Don't let people push you ... Read more

Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I'm ugly!Lay on the couch, face ... Read more

Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.Don't ... Read more

Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning." Fred: "So what?" Harry: "So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband. You know, one of the men I've been telling you ... Read more

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?The patients get better and leave.Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God.The staff have the ... Read more

How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?None, he's still clinging to the old ... Read more

How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for ... Read more

How many Histrionic P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?"You want me to change the lightbulb? I could burn my hand! I could be electrocuted! I could fall off the ladder and be paralyzed for life! You don't love me ... Read more