Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?A: Because their eggs stink. (They're ... Read more

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?A: It scares the heck out of the ... Read more

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see? "Well, I see thousands of stars." ... Read more

The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the ... Read more

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he ... Read more

This guy goes to the zoo one day. While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy ... Read more

Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As ... Read more

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde.The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.She says no and the executioner ... Read more

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He ... Read more

What did the egg say to the boiling water?"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ... Read more