The man who was about to die said to the Sheriff, "Say, do I really have to die swinging from a tree?" "Course not," replied the Sheriff. "We just put the rope round your neck and kick the horse away. After that it's up ... Read more

There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died. What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They put his left leg in....Well, ... Read more

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his ... Read more

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every ... Read more

Vampire 1: "I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died." Vampire 2: "How awful!" Vampire 1: "Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of ... Read more

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup !Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them ... Read more

Waiter, waiter! There's a dead fly in my soup. Oh no! Who's going to look after his ... Read more

What are you doing? I'm trying to call Washington! Oh, haven't you heard? He's ... Read more

What did the little kid do with the dead battery?He buried ... Read more

What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years? ... Read more