Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!.Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile ... Read more

Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door.Yours, Sherlock HolmesWatson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes?Lemon-entry my dear ... Read more

Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas party ?It was a scream ... Read more

Did you hear about the stupid turkey?It was looking forward to ... Read more

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its true....Comet cleans ... Read more

Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father ChristmasDoctor: You're suffering from ... Read more

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell!Just take these pills - and, if they don't work, give me a ... Read more

Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange!Have you tried playing ... Read more

Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep.Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop ... Read more

Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp.Father Christmas: That's called 'The Wizard of ... Read more