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Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said "Hell, I'm no actor, and I've got thirty movies to prove ... Read more
Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room ... Read more
Dentist to parsimonious patient "No, we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. ... Read more
Dentist: "You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand ... Read more
Dentist: Don't worry. I'm painless.Patient: I'm ... Read more
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes.Patient: And how much will it cost?Dentist: It's $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???Dentist: I can extract it ... Read more
Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other ... Read more
Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved.Assistant: Why don't you marry her?Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best ... Read more
Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs?Criminal: Why? You look good in short ... Read more
Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at ... Read more
